Once upon a time there was an archery contest.
The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position…He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM…… ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!
The second archer with a cape lines up in position.He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood’s arrow into two!!!He takes off his cape and screams: I AM…… WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!!
Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position… He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams:I AM…… SORRY
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Santa's Computer Interview
Santa attended a technical interview for a programmer's job.
Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different ... Nothing more
Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee
Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.
Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.
Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can't communicate.
Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.
Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.
Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?
Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.
Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.
Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus dep to.
Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.
Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.
Q. What is the exact diffe rence between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast.
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Santa Banta on Double Decker Bus.
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh.He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death.
He says, "Are Banta Singh!What the heck's going' on? Why are you scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there "
Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "
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Kya Maal Hai
Ek baar do sardar ek ladki ko dekh rahe the
1st sardar: Kya maal hain yaar,
2nd sardar: Maal se yaad aaya, bhabhiji kaisi hain ????
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Sardar And The English Movie.
Once a sardar watches an english movie and disscusses about the film the next day with his friend
SARDAR: saala kal raat maine 3 ghannte ka ek english picture ki CD dekhi ,na koi scenes dikhe na koi awaaz sunni,
FRIEND: Picture ka naam kya tha?????
SARDAR: "NO DISC INSERTED"
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Sardar And The Nobel Prize.
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a sardar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Santa is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the sardar and asks him, “Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?”
Santa replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”
"How?” asks the man, puzzled.
”Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”
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Going Home Early.
Three sardars who work in the same office notice that their boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after he leaves, they’ll take off early, too. After all, he never calls or comes back, so how will he know?
The 1st Sardar is thrilled to get home early. he does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.
The 2nd Sardar is elevated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.
The 3rd Sardar is also very happy to be home early, but as he goes upstairs he hears noises coming from his bedroom. he quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see his wife in bed with HIS BOSS! Ever so gently, he closes the door and creeps out of his house.
The next day, the other two Sardar talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the 3rd Sardar if he wants to leave early also, he exclaims, “NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!”
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Sardar in Pain.
A Sardar went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the man.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific." The Sardar touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then he touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch!
That hurts, too." Then he touched his right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", he cried.
The doctor checked him thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."
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Sardar and the American Tourist.
An American tourist in Punjab walked into a beautiful deserted forest and found a lovely pool in it, and decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn't see anyone, and undressed and just as she was about to dive in, Santa Singh the gardner appeared from behind the bushes where he was hiding all along and said, 'Madam! Swimming not allowed!''
You could have told me that before I took off my clothes!', the American woman scolded him.
Santa Singh replied, 'Madam, only swimming not allowed, taking off clothes allowed!
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Letter to Bill Gates.
This letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft.
Subject: Problems with my new computer.
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.
2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run ' he ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.
3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?
7. It is surprizing that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
9. You provided "My Recent Documents". When you will provide "My Past Documents"?
10. You provide "My Network Places". For God shake please do not provide "My Secret Places". I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards,
Banta singh.
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Sardar wins the Lottery.
A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery.
He goes to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs.
The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh
today and then you'll get the rest spread
out for the next 19 weeks."
The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want
it."
Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest
during the next 19 weeks.
The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If
you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right
now, then I want my five rupees back!"
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Santa and Banta
Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.) Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass).
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Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone." "I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.
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Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices,"said Banta Singh." It said , "FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
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Two horses
Santa and Banta had just bought two horses. Now the problem was that they could not differenciate between the two horses. So,one day, Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.While doing so, an enemy of Santa looks at him. This enemy also cuts the left ear of banta. By doing so santa and banta come in confusion to differenciate. So, next thing santa keeps on cutting his horse's right ear, then his tail, then makes him blind and so on. And the enemy also kept on doing so with banta's horse. At last Santa's horse had no legs left and banta's horse was with one leg only .The enemy also went and cut banta's horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution, How to diffrenciate their horses. So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to thier mind - Santa said - O.K! You keep the black one and i will keep the white
