Funny Status For Facebook

is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf's a minute.

says we could merge My Space, Facebook, You Tube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.

has advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.

doesn't care if he is going to hell because at least it will be warm there and he'll know people.

wants to remind everyone that if you're too open-minded, you're brains WILL fall out.

is cle'a] he'r ke]yb29oa;rd

feels like getting some work done...and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.

is wondering.... if money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.

says my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

doesn't suffer from insanity... he enjoys every minute of it.

isn't going to take life seriously... Nobody gets out alive anyway

is retired. I was tired yesterday, and I'm tired again today.

first we had mad cow disease, then we had bird flu, now we have swine flu, O.M.F.G it's FARMAGGEDON.

says without ME you're just AWESO.

hates people that take drugs... customs for example

knows everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

was thinking, and came up with a thought, and thought about it.

is a very good bad example

wants to say to the nice stranger he saw while driving around, "Next time you wave at me, use all of your fingers."

People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.

is proud somebody actually complimented him on his driving abilities today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.'

Wonders if 90% of the people don’t have it, why do they call it common sense.

wonders why sheep don't shrink when it rains!

is wondering why, if it's sent by ship it's cargo, if it's sent by road it's a shipment.

is always told alcohol doesn't solve any problems...but then again, neither does milk.

can hum in 50 different languages!

is so poor that he can't even afford to pay attention.

is right 98% of the time. So why worry about the other 3%?

Me, fail english? UNPOSSIBLE !! Me goodest !!

Eh! Bee! See! Dee! Eie! Eff! Jee! Aych! Eye! Jay! Kay! Elle! Em! Enn! Oh! Pee! Cue! Are! Ass! Tea! You! Vee! Double You! Ex! Why! Zee!

Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

says "You'll never have to go to the post office again, 'cause I'm all the male you'll ever need..."

Dont think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!!

You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.

say Facebook is like the Hotel Californina. You can check out anytime you like but you can never leave.

♪♪♫ this is my background music,not my fault you can’t hear it ♫♪♪

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face

says yes I admit I'm STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand.

is wondering why abbreviation is such a long word?

is trying to find out who farted, was it you?

Thinks artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Did you know there are female hormones in beer? If you drink too much it makes you talk stupid and drive poorly.

I am a vegetarian because I eat only goat and they are vegetarian too.

If you notice this notice, you'll notice that this notice isn’t even worth noticing.

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--^v--^v--^v--^v-_____^v--^v--^v-- For a second there, I was bored to death.